Paula shares the beautiful story behind her poem, Are You My Memory?
I was privileged to care for a lady called Betty in a previous care home. She was from South Shields and was a very interesting lady. We got quite close, and she allowed me to call her ‘Betty Boo’. This was shortened to ‘Boo’ over time and became her nickname.
One evening, I was helping Boo to get ready for bed. This was the conversation we had;
Boo - “Paula, what’s wrong with me?”
Me - “You have dementia Boo, do you know what
that is?”
Boo – “I think so, but will you tell me?”
Me - “You just get a bit forgetful Boo, so we are here
to look after you, and make sure you’re safe
and cared for. We remind you about your
medication and make sure you get food and
drinks when you want them. If you feel unwell,
we make sure you see a doctor, and we help you to
get washed and dressed."
Boo – "That’s ok then Paula, I trust you."
That was my validation that my job had a purpose and this beautiful, interesting lady trusted me to get her through a day safely. I continued to help Boo to wash and change for bed when she suddenly stopped me. She looked me right in the eyes and said to me;
“Paula, are you my memory?”
My heart nearly burst in my chest as I saw the innocent trust in her eyes. I told her I wasn’t her memory, but I would be her friend for as long as she needed me. I knew that one day Boo would need a lot more help as her journey through dementia got to the end. She would be unable to tell me verbally what she wanted, and her ability to mobilise may cease.
You meet a lot of people as you go through your life, but only a few of them will ever make that impact that goes on to become a fond memory.
Boo became a true inspiration to me and the reason behind me writing my poem.
I will never forget that question she asked me as long as I live.
This is for you Boo xx
Are You My Memory?
Are you my memory?
As you give me a drink
As you show me my pictures
And urge me to think
Are you my memory?
As I lie in my bed
As I pray I could tell you
But my words are unsaid
Are you my memory?
As I’m looking around
As I wish I could get up
And stand on the ground
Are you my memory?
As I sit in my chair
As I wonder what happened
Why I ended up there
Are you my memory?
As food time is here
As I’m given my choices
As the forkful comes near
Are you my memory?
As the night draws an end
As you start to undress me
But my body won’t bend
Are you my memory?
As you turn off the light
As my lifetime revisits
While I lie there all night
Am I your memory?
Can you comprehend?
No, I’m not your memory
But I hope I’m your friend
